Toby has been great around Grayson...helping and caring. Last week, he held his shirt up with his mouth, and put his baby doll to his chest to imitate mommy feeding Grayson. It was pretty darn cute! He's quite the comedian lately! Here's an example of our communication that happens just about every 15 minutes...
"Mommy, what cha doin'?"
"Making dinner"
"What?"
"Making dinner"
"Oh, Otay!"
"Mommy -what's Grayson doin'?
"He's just sitting here laughing at you"
"Can he hold this toy"
"Not yet sweetie - he's too little"
"Oh - My big now!"
He does the same thing every time no matter what we say. He asks twice and then says otay!
It's hilarious! And when I call for him...I say,
"Toby, come here please"
"What mommy what?"
"Toby please come here"
"What mommy what - oh otay"
I told Toby that we are going to have a birthday party for daddy this weekend and he started singing Happy Birthday to the cake!
I must vent for a moment. After everything we've been through with Toby...from the surprise after birth to the amputation and life with a child wearing a prosthetic...I must say that we couldn't imagine our lives any different. We promised ourselves long ago to never treat him any differently, but we are sick of everybody staring and asking such stupid questions. And we have a long way to go until Toby can answer for himself. He doesn't get it yet... he knows he has a special leg but he really doesn't get it. I try to hide it but it breaks my heart to see kids walk past him and stare at his leg. They don't even look him in the face and Toby meanwhile is looking at them in the eyes and waving hello. It has really been upsetting Ronnie lately too.
We've had so many people ask us lately "What did he do to his leg" and
"what's on his leg"? "That's a different cast" and "what kind of brace is that" some say. Now granted I didn't know crap about prosthetics before Toby...but heck I know when I see a fake leg and when the foot is 10 shades lighter and doesn't move, it's not real either.
Today someone asked me is if he was wearing that to stabilize his ankle. What the heck? OMG....I replied, "he doesn't have an ankle, or a foot".
We can't even go to Publix without someone having something to say. I especially love the stories people tell me about their child being pigeon toed as if that's even comparable. Actually if Toby had his right foot he would be pigeon toed too because he has the hip rotation problem. But we're not that lucky. It's so hard to be kind after the fifth question that day...and we know it's hard- but we have to be pleasant and understanding certainly in front of Toby. We actually prefer people to ask that to just stare. Ahhh....I feel better. Thanks for listening!
Grayson's my little ham. Or should I say big ham. He's 12 1/2 lbs already... and boy is he long. I can barely change his diaper in my lap anymore. He loves to stay up late and get up way too early. Here's him enjoying a bath in mama's sink at the condo:)
He found his thumb successfully all by himself a couple of times. You know you're just a wee bit more relaxed with the second - ok maybe a lot - when you go to change the diaper and realize he's had the same onesie on for 2 days!
I can't even think about going back to work in 5 weeks....so sad. I honestly don't know where I'm going to find time to work. The days fly by... but I have to do what I have to do:) Hopefully it will be easier this time around. I was a wreck when I went back to work after 3 months home with Toby. Maybe a couple hours here and there away won't be so bad.
Happy July 4th!
4 comments:
Hey there,
Love the pics. Thanks for sharing about the hard parts. You know I feel you. Sending love your way.
K
Thanks for sharing this. I feel so bad that people do that and that you all have to go through this. I feel bad when I asked you about it at church that day.
Please know that Piney and I love you and your family. Leilani adores Toby, we all do. He is a great little boy with some amazing parents. And Little Grayson is so adorable.
Can't wait to see you soon. Love you guys :)
Know how you feel friend! It gets better most days. I get sick of it to and then other days I realize poeple just don't know...Some days I want to wear a T-shirt that says "Yes, My Kid Doesn't Have A Leg!". Hang in there. One thing I did with Erica that seems to help is when I noticed as she was getting older and she would look at people with a "difference", I would point it out to her and help her understand that she is curious and trying to understand just like when people stare at her. We also make a game out of how many people ask and stare..especially during the summer when she goes to so many new places for summer camps! It also helped to be able to hear me say over and over (and over and over.....) the same thing so she can learn a reply, too. Although I also have given her the option to make a stories to strangers, but encourage her to tell the truth when she is introducing herself to a new friend. However, sometimes people at stores may get a whopper! She told one person an alligator bit it off....we just kept on walking. As a parent, it's like we have radar for gawkers, though. Hang in there! Grayson is beautiful!. Call me sometime when you have a breather (yeah right:) )
Oh yeah...one more thing. It may be hard but I have learned the more comfortable and less frustrated I am with people, the more confident she is. I just take a deep breath and think "ok this is a teaching moment". Love ya!
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